Fate and Destiny? Confessions of a Cynic...

I think I grew up as the worlds most cynical child. Having my siblings subject me to torturous routines of playing games that were terrible, and most would require me being gullible enough to believe them (time and time again) that THIS time they would play nice. Riiight. Things like the game called "Kidnap" that would have them locking me in the shed. Nice game. They'd also play a game that would entail me drinking "potions" made of water and dirt and dandelions to make me invisible. And then, they would convince that that since my clothes were not invisible, i would need to take them off to walk around the neibourhood. Don't even GET me started on the game called Haunted House. That one drove our babysitters to tears.
Yep, I got cynical REAL fast.

Therefore, it was no surprise to me that I became the kind of young adult who did not believe in "One True Love", or "Soul Mates" and I would smile and be slightly jealous of those who did. That type of faith to me was amazing, but untouchable by me. On Valentine's Day, the one who would become my first ex-husband (and only ex husband thus far) claimed I was his soul mate and his one true love. I smiled and rolled my eyes. My second husband was not to fall to those illusions. Ever practical, pragmatic and with the mind of a scientist, he claimed there was no such thing. Ah! Blissful music to my cynical ears! You choose your best match with the options presented to you. If I never came into his life, he'd be just fine. No proclamations of me "completing him" or "changing his life". And this has suited me wonderfully. Who needs that when you're happy with who you're with? No - fate and destiny just wasn't a concept that fit me.

I have been singly career minded since high school. After thoughts of becoming a teacher, then a biologist, then a photojournalist, then a writer, I settled into thinking about becoming a graphic designer. It was a field I fell in love with, and every step I took brought me closer to that goal. Taking classes in high school towards that end, a year off of school to raise the funds for post-secondary, a graf com diploma, and an entry level position designing ads for a newspaper. After getting as far as I could there, I became the graphic designer for a small print shop. I love it. I hated it. I went from part time designer to full time designer, to manager to operations manager before my boss and the owner told me he was selling the shop. I took the plunge and decided to try to buy it. It wasn't without it's challenges. It wasn't "easy", but things seemed to fall into place whenever they needed to, and eight months later, I was signing legal documents proclaiming me as owner.
And now two years later, when the shop is doing well and is moderately successful (after a rather soul crushing economic downturn) I've used the phrase more than once that owning the shop "was meant to be".
What? Those words from a hardened cynic? But it's true. I feel that I am finally, after 32 years of life am in the exact place I needed to be. The place I was (ick) meant to be, and destiny had been preparing me for. How odd to have that concept fall into my lap after so long of not believing.
I am still a cynic. But I do believe that there are things in this world I was meant for. Owning this shop is one of them. Being Kat's mom is another. If I had lived my life the way I was trying to, I wouldn't have had a child at 20. I probably would have decided to skip the whole parenting thing, and it was never a goal of mine to be a business owner. Are you kidding? No way would I ever have planned for those things. But they are two of the things that make me happier than any other thing in the world. And I cannot deny that fate and destiny had a hand in those things.

So, do I now believe in a one true love, or a soul mate now that my eyes have opened up to the concept? Let's just say that I will remain cynically hopeful.