Reasonable People...

This weekend my next door neighbor redeemed himself. He came over to explain that our shed has no eavestrough and as a result of this rainwater runs off our shed roof onto his flower beds destroying them. He realizes this is HIS problem, but has a solution. He will help us move the shed a few feet off the property line towards our house. We share the labor - everyone's happy.
So, why is this news? Well, if you remember a few posts back, I had problems with neighbors doing less than neighborly things that caused us property damage. Why now the sudden change in behavior? Guilty conscience? Actually thinking? OR maybe he read my rant online. Probably not, but this coincidence is too juicy not to bloviate about. But maybe he did see it, and the error of his ways. (Unlikely).

I'm the type of person who wears her heart on her sleeve. Online and in real life. I may not be as out-spoken, for fear of insulting people without being present to explain. I may be more outspoken for times I feel too timid to actually speak up, but I live by a general rule: I never say or put anything online that my parents, grandparents and children would be upset by. Or anything that I would personally be embarrassed by if they saw it. I think it's a good rule to live by. Enter the virtual world where people feel bullet-proof, and say and do things that they wouldn't dare IRL. Bullying, stalking, cheating, scamming are some of the things that regular joes are doing under cloak and dagger of the internet. They are acting under presumed anonymity. A very false pretense. What happens if or when your anonymity falls away to reveal to the world your secrets?

I recently had an encounter that drove home that point to me embarrassingly enough. An acquaintence from real life started to read up on my blog, my facebook and various other weird profiles I had online. Nothing in them is shocking, surprising (or to me - even interesting) but this person from real life found my online self and began acting different around me. Excuses to see me started cropping up. Making sweeping generalizations about me (despite actually knowing the real me) and choosing to see what they wanted to see based on random information I allow strangers to access. This lead to a VERY awkward conversation, and several more lighthearted conversations after the fact. I'm glad we can look back on this and laugh.

Maybe this person thought they were seeing a more private side of my life, they thought I was admitting things online to the anonymous world, and they were in on my secret. But what about being online is provocative, sexy and seemingly anonymous? What is it that makes people feel bullet proof, and able to open up to strangers? I understand finding a common bond through internet groups and websites that can eventually hold a friendship together. But to cyber stalk a person looking for extra tidbits of information about them seems backwards, and it's happening more and more these days. (Ever "facebook" stalked? Ever googled your name? Someone else's name?)

In the end, if this person had forgone the entire "online stalking" thing and came up to me and said "hey, I think you're cool, let's do coffee" that would've been much more receptive than "hey, I saw your pictures of your last halloween party, and that you're a member of the 'I Love Tim and Eric Fan Club' and I wanted to know if you'd like to dress up like Tim and Eric with me while eating candy in the dark'.

That's just plain weird, right? In a world of online connectivity, it was nice to see a real person actually reach out and touch another real person when they weren't in front of a computer. I'm glad they reached out and touched me. I have a friend I never knew I had, and someone else who loves Tim and Eric too. I'm just old fashioned, but some things are better kept on-line, and off line. Cyber stalking is one of them. And if you ever want to real life stalk me, please don't judge me while I'm dressed up like Eric Wareheim and am eating bonbons in the dark. And don't post about it online. Some things just shouldn't make it to the 'net.


***Some interesting footnotes:
Yes, I love Tim and Eric of "The Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job". If you haven't seen it - please do.
I DO love dressing up. For halloween, or I pretend it's halloween. Last year I was The Old Gregg from a British TV show called The Mighty Boosh. Check that out too.
For a safer way to view dirty secrets, check out www.postsecrets.com or post your own!