I had a friend recently comment that I should turn my craft blog into a graphic design blog, or an entrepreneur blog since I'm doing more working than crafting. Ha. That's true, but all the good graphic design blog names are taken. And besides, this is craft anarchy, where there are no rules. That basically means I can blog about whatever I want to. That's my way of saying I'm about to rant about work. Again.
I recently was paid a visit from the president of the Chamber of Commerce (ooh - pause for dramatic effect) who sat down with me in a Closed Door Meeting. He asked if I would be his president-elect for his term as president. Which means I'd be the next president. Bewildered blink. I asked if he was sure. He gave me a thoughtful reply of why he chose me. After our lengthy discussion of what it would mean - my commitments and duties - he left asking me to give him an answer by Monday. Not exactly the way I wanted to end my Friday, with a bunch of heavy thinking for the weekend. After discussing it with my husband and business partner, my employees, my friends and family, I'm still not sure what my answer will be. I'm flattered, to be sure - but ego is not the right reason to do anything. On the other hand, the benefits both to my personal growth and to my business is huge. It sort of scares me, and that's one big reason i'm considering it. Being a mom and taking over a business are just two examples of things that terrified me and turned out to be the best things in my life. I have been considering all my current obligations - work, family and the other organizations I have become a part of that all depend on me. Do I have the time to commit to this? I have the potential to be the BNI president next year. I'm the president elect for Rotary which means I will be the president in a year. I can spend the next two years preparing myself for the time expenditure after my experiences being president of smaller things. Maybe these are great stepping stones and learning experiences preparing me for Chamber Presidency. I feel greatly underqualified - especially considering the depth and breadth of the knowledge and experience of the past presidents for over 75 years. But my peers have picked me for these tasks because they believe in me. Maybe they see something in me that I don't.
I recently had a close friend comment that what drew her to me was my charm and charisma. I have a very hard time describing myself with those two words. She was flattered and amazed that I reciprocated her feelings and we've been amazingly close friends ever since. Even despite the fact we live in different provinces we're very close. Perhaps it's time I stopped believing what I've told myself for years. Time to stop believing the lies fed to me by an abusive first spouse. Stop believing the stupid playground bullies and poisonous people I was too eager to listen to for far too long, and start listening to myself. To start telling myself that I am capable and worthy and special.
That's a hard pill for me to swallow, but it's clear that I need to start believing in myself the way others do. I owe myself that much. Respecting myself will be a learning curve. I don't know when the last time I felt worthy was. And a lot of work will have to go in to this. Taking care of my body through eating well, exercising, getting enough sleep and spending time with the people who nourish my soul. Christmas is a perfect time to start this when goodwill towards men and the peace and joy of the season is at its height.
I was sure that owning my own business would change me and help me grow as a person, but I didn't realize how dramatically it would happen. I'm honored to be chosen to represent my business community. I'm honored to take on this responsibility for the only community I've ever known. The more I think of it, the more I realize this is a path I'm meant to take.
I hope I do a good job, I hope I don't let anyone down, I hope to learn many new things, I hope to cherish the experience and gain many new friends. I hope to continue to grow. I hope.
Isn't hope wonderful?
Monday, November 22, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
Gingerbread Disaster...
It's been a pathetic craft year for me this 2010. I didn't carve any jack o lanterns, all my cards have been store bought, and I have gone to the craft store ONLY three times, and ALL of my purchases are sitting in their original bags and in their original packaging. Le Sigh! I have about four new halloween stamp sets untouched even.
Therefore, I was excited this year at the prospect of making a gingerbread house for the LINX Gingerbread Gala! They have locals make gingerbread houses and auction them off for charity. I did it last year, and my house went for $100! I was so looking forward to out-doing my efforts from last year. This time, I consulted an engineer, home made all the gingerbread... And ran out of time and bribed my husband and daughter to make it while I was working. Work, work, work...
I was hoping to come home and help put the final touches on the super impressive chalet. I was on the phone saying I was coming home, when the first cave in happened. My daughter threatened to sue the construction company, as there were some gingerbread men fataly wounded in the accident. My idea when I got home was to turn it into some sort of famous (or famous looking) ruins the following day. Yeah, that went over like a lead balloon. What it DID end up looking like was a tent city put up by hordes of homeless gingerbread men. Sorta like what Edmonton looked like in 2006 and there was a gigantic tent city errected by the working homeless. Too late to do anything else, and unfortunately too late to back out (as it was only an hour to the start of the event). I whipped up a tent card on the computer, and voila!
Therefore, I was excited this year at the prospect of making a gingerbread house for the LINX Gingerbread Gala! They have locals make gingerbread houses and auction them off for charity. I did it last year, and my house went for $100! I was so looking forward to out-doing my efforts from last year. This time, I consulted an engineer, home made all the gingerbread... And ran out of time and bribed my husband and daughter to make it while I was working. Work, work, work...
I was hoping to come home and help put the final touches on the super impressive chalet. I was on the phone saying I was coming home, when the first cave in happened. My daughter threatened to sue the construction company, as there were some gingerbread men fataly wounded in the accident. My idea when I got home was to turn it into some sort of famous (or famous looking) ruins the following day. Yeah, that went over like a lead balloon. What it DID end up looking like was a tent city put up by hordes of homeless gingerbread men. Sorta like what Edmonton looked like in 2006 and there was a gigantic tent city errected by the working homeless. Too late to do anything else, and unfortunately too late to back out (as it was only an hour to the start of the event). I whipped up a tent card on the computer, and voila!
The Fabulous Tent City of the North Pole
As work piles up at the North Pole for the upcoming Christmas season, Santa runs out of room in his workshop & tent cities pop up for relief workers (dwarves, fairies & trolls) who've come from all over the world to help with the large demand this Christmas...
It almost looked like I intended to make it look that pathetic. Please note the gingerbread man holding a cane - he escaped the initial disaster with only life altering and debilitating injuries...
The president of the Chamber of Commerce said my gingerbread village looked nicer than his most recent trip to a third world country, and if I wanted to make it really pathetic looking, I need to add gingerbread men pooping outside, and well, to be honest just lots of outdoor poop.
I'll keep those suggestions in mind for next year.
Oh, and what did my gingerbread village fetch in donations? $10. My thanks to Cindy for purchasing it and taking it home, allowing me to avoid the shame of carting that monstrosity back with me.
On the upside, the Gala was so much fun, the food was amazing, the company even better and I got to see the most glorious giant velvet elvis painting I've ever seen. Good times.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Lest We Forget
As a child growing up, the importance of Remembrance Day was one thing that was emphasized to me. It was important in the schools I went to, important in our family, and the importance was never lost on me. But to a child who has never seen war, or who has never had soldiers in her family, I often wondered what I was supposed to be remembering. Learning the history, honoring those who fought and paying homage to the ultimate sacrifice was what I did, but what was I to remember?
I heard on the radio today that more teenagers and young adults are treating this day of respect a lot differently than the youth of my generation because the youth today actually have a concept of wars. Friends and families have gone off to fight and some haven't returned, which puts the day into a different light than it did in the 80's and 90's.
Remembrance Day has been put into a new light for me now too. I now have a concept of what it feels like to be part of a nation sending soldiers off to fight. I have a concept of what terrorism looks like, and how easily freedoms can get taken away. And through my much larger network of friends and colleagues, I now have friends who have fought and who still fight for those freedoms. And it's a much more meaningful Remembrance Day when these friends can tell me their stories. A much more meaningful day when you lay a wreath in memory of someone, more meaningful when you can recall fond memories of your friends who are now off in a foreign land for your country. I've always observed this day solemnly, but now it has a significance that only age and time can provide. And I am thankful for that.
Today, I started my day with the ceremony in my hometown. Saw the colourguard marching, my nephew in his uniform, people I knew marching down the aisle. Laid a wreath at the end of the ceremony and observed the moment of silence at the cenotaph. Afterwards, I headed to my local Tim Horton's and had coffee with some friends, two of which had been soldiers in the British Army and one, a peacekeeper. Laughing and joking with these people has made me put this day into a perspective I never had before. From now on, when I think of remembrance day, I will think of these faces and be more grateful than ever before that I am free. I will remember.
Thank you.
I heard on the radio today that more teenagers and young adults are treating this day of respect a lot differently than the youth of my generation because the youth today actually have a concept of wars. Friends and families have gone off to fight and some haven't returned, which puts the day into a different light than it did in the 80's and 90's.Remembrance Day has been put into a new light for me now too. I now have a concept of what it feels like to be part of a nation sending soldiers off to fight. I have a concept of what terrorism looks like, and how easily freedoms can get taken away. And through my much larger network of friends and colleagues, I now have friends who have fought and who still fight for those freedoms. And it's a much more meaningful Remembrance Day when these friends can tell me their stories. A much more meaningful day when you lay a wreath in memory of someone, more meaningful when you can recall fond memories of your friends who are now off in a foreign land for your country. I've always observed this day solemnly, but now it has a significance that only age and time can provide. And I am thankful for that.
Today, I started my day with the ceremony in my hometown. Saw the colourguard marching, my nephew in his uniform, people I knew marching down the aisle. Laid a wreath at the end of the ceremony and observed the moment of silence at the cenotaph. Afterwards, I headed to my local Tim Horton's and had coffee with some friends, two of which had been soldiers in the British Army and one, a peacekeeper. Laughing and joking with these people has made me put this day into a perspective I never had before. From now on, when I think of remembrance day, I will think of these faces and be more grateful than ever before that I am free. I will remember.
Thank you.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Fate and Destiny? Confessions of a Cynic...
I think I grew up as the worlds most cynical child. Having my siblings subject me to torturous routines of playing games that were terrible, and most would require me being gullible enough to believe them (time and time again) that THIS time they would play nice. Riiight. Things like the game called "Kidnap" that would have them locking me in the shed. Nice game. They'd also play a game that would entail me drinking "potions" made of water and dirt and dandelions to make me invisible. And then, they would convince that that since my clothes were not invisible, i would need to take them off to walk around the neibourhood. Don't even GET me started on the game called Haunted House. That one drove our babysitters to tears.
Yep, I got cynical REAL fast.
Therefore, it was no surprise to me that I became the kind of young adult who did not believe in "One True Love", or "Soul Mates" and I would smile and be slightly jealous of those who did. That type of faith to me was amazing, but untouchable by me. On Valentine's Day, the one who would become my first ex-husband (and only ex husband thus far) claimed I was his soul mate and his one true love. I smiled and rolled my eyes. My second husband was not to fall to those illusions. Ever practical, pragmatic and with the mind of a scientist, he claimed there was no such thing. Ah! Blissful music to my cynical ears! You choose your best match with the options presented to you. If I never came into his life, he'd be just fine. No proclamations of me "completing him" or "changing his life". And this has suited me wonderfully. Who needs that when you're happy with who you're with? No - fate and destiny just wasn't a concept that fit me.
I have been singly career minded since high school. After thoughts of becoming a teacher, then a biologist, then a photojournalist, then a writer, I settled into thinking about becoming a graphic designer. It was a field I fell in love with, and every step I took brought me closer to that goal. Taking classes in high school towards that end, a year off of school to raise the funds for post-secondary, a graf com diploma, and an entry level position designing ads for a newspaper. After getting as far as I could there, I became the graphic designer for a small print shop. I love it. I hated it. I went from part time designer to full time designer, to manager to operations manager before my boss and the owner told me he was selling the shop. I took the plunge and decided to try to buy it. It wasn't without it's challenges. It wasn't "easy", but things seemed to fall into place whenever they needed to, and eight months later, I was signing legal documents proclaiming me as owner.
And now two years later, when the shop is doing well and is moderately successful (after a rather soul crushing economic downturn) I've used the phrase more than once that owning the shop "was meant to be".
What? Those words from a hardened cynic? But it's true. I feel that I am finally, after 32 years of life am in the exact place I needed to be. The place I was (ick) meant to be, and destiny had been preparing me for. How odd to have that concept fall into my lap after so long of not believing.
I am still a cynic. But I do believe that there are things in this world I was meant for. Owning this shop is one of them. Being Kat's mom is another. If I had lived my life the way I was trying to, I wouldn't have had a child at 20. I probably would have decided to skip the whole parenting thing, and it was never a goal of mine to be a business owner. Are you kidding? No way would I ever have planned for those things. But they are two of the things that make me happier than any other thing in the world. And I cannot deny that fate and destiny had a hand in those things.
So, do I now believe in a one true love, or a soul mate now that my eyes have opened up to the concept? Let's just say that I will remain cynically hopeful.
Yep, I got cynical REAL fast.
Therefore, it was no surprise to me that I became the kind of young adult who did not believe in "One True Love", or "Soul Mates" and I would smile and be slightly jealous of those who did. That type of faith to me was amazing, but untouchable by me. On Valentine's Day, the one who would become my first ex-husband (and only ex husband thus far) claimed I was his soul mate and his one true love. I smiled and rolled my eyes. My second husband was not to fall to those illusions. Ever practical, pragmatic and with the mind of a scientist, he claimed there was no such thing. Ah! Blissful music to my cynical ears! You choose your best match with the options presented to you. If I never came into his life, he'd be just fine. No proclamations of me "completing him" or "changing his life". And this has suited me wonderfully. Who needs that when you're happy with who you're with? No - fate and destiny just wasn't a concept that fit me.
I have been singly career minded since high school. After thoughts of becoming a teacher, then a biologist, then a photojournalist, then a writer, I settled into thinking about becoming a graphic designer. It was a field I fell in love with, and every step I took brought me closer to that goal. Taking classes in high school towards that end, a year off of school to raise the funds for post-secondary, a graf com diploma, and an entry level position designing ads for a newspaper. After getting as far as I could there, I became the graphic designer for a small print shop. I love it. I hated it. I went from part time designer to full time designer, to manager to operations manager before my boss and the owner told me he was selling the shop. I took the plunge and decided to try to buy it. It wasn't without it's challenges. It wasn't "easy", but things seemed to fall into place whenever they needed to, and eight months later, I was signing legal documents proclaiming me as owner.
And now two years later, when the shop is doing well and is moderately successful (after a rather soul crushing economic downturn) I've used the phrase more than once that owning the shop "was meant to be".
What? Those words from a hardened cynic? But it's true. I feel that I am finally, after 32 years of life am in the exact place I needed to be. The place I was (ick) meant to be, and destiny had been preparing me for. How odd to have that concept fall into my lap after so long of not believing.
I am still a cynic. But I do believe that there are things in this world I was meant for. Owning this shop is one of them. Being Kat's mom is another. If I had lived my life the way I was trying to, I wouldn't have had a child at 20. I probably would have decided to skip the whole parenting thing, and it was never a goal of mine to be a business owner. Are you kidding? No way would I ever have planned for those things. But they are two of the things that make me happier than any other thing in the world. And I cannot deny that fate and destiny had a hand in those things.
So, do I now believe in a one true love, or a soul mate now that my eyes have opened up to the concept? Let's just say that I will remain cynically hopeful.
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