Hope and Terror

I had a friend recently comment that I should turn my craft blog into a graphic design blog, or an entrepreneur blog since I'm doing more working than crafting. Ha. That's true, but all the good graphic design blog names are taken. And besides, this is craft anarchy, where there are no rules. That basically means I can blog about whatever I want to. That's my way of saying I'm about to rant about work. Again.

I recently was paid a visit from the president of the Chamber of Commerce (ooh - pause for dramatic effect) who sat down with me in a Closed Door Meeting. He asked if I would be his president-elect for his term as president. Which means I'd be the next president. Bewildered blink. I asked if he was sure. He gave me a thoughtful reply of why he chose me. After our lengthy discussion of what it would mean - my commitments and duties - he left asking me to give him an answer by Monday. Not exactly the way I wanted to end my Friday, with a bunch of heavy thinking for the weekend. After discussing it with my husband and business partner, my employees, my friends and family, I'm still not sure what my answer will be. I'm flattered, to be sure - but ego is not the right reason to do anything. On the other hand, the benefits both to my personal growth and to my business is huge. It sort of scares me, and that's one big reason i'm considering it. Being a mom and taking over a business are just two examples of things that terrified me and turned out to be the best things in my life. I have been considering all my current obligations - work, family and the other organizations I have become a part of that all depend on me. Do I have the time to commit to this? I have the potential to be the BNI president next year. I'm the president elect for Rotary which means I will be the president in a year. I can spend the next two years preparing myself for the time expenditure after my experiences being president of smaller things. Maybe these are great stepping stones and learning experiences preparing me for Chamber Presidency. I feel greatly underqualified - especially considering the depth and breadth of the knowledge and experience of the past presidents for over 75 years. But my peers have picked me for these tasks because they believe in me. Maybe they see something in me that I don't.
I recently had a close friend comment that what drew her to me was my charm and charisma. I have a very hard time describing myself with those two words. She was flattered and amazed that I reciprocated her feelings and we've been amazingly close friends ever since. Even despite the fact we live in different provinces we're very close. Perhaps it's time I stopped believing what I've told myself for years. Time to stop believing the lies fed to me by an abusive first spouse. Stop believing the stupid playground bullies and poisonous people I was too eager to listen to for far too long, and start listening to myself. To start telling myself that I am capable and worthy and special.
That's a hard pill for me to swallow, but it's clear that I need to start believing in myself the way others do. I owe myself that much. Respecting myself will be a learning curve. I don't know when the last time I felt worthy was. And a lot of work will have to go in to this. Taking care of my body through eating well, exercising, getting enough sleep and spending time with the people who nourish my soul. Christmas is a perfect time to start this when goodwill towards men and the peace and joy of the season is at its height.
I was sure that owning my own business would change me and help me grow as a person, but I didn't realize how dramatically it would happen. I'm honored to be chosen to represent my business community. I'm honored to take on this responsibility for the only community I've ever known. The more I think of it, the more I realize this is a path I'm meant to take.
I hope I do a good job, I hope I don't let anyone down, I hope to learn many new things, I hope to cherish the experience and gain many new friends. I hope to continue to grow. I hope.
Isn't hope wonderful?

Gingerbread Disaster...

It's been a pathetic craft year for me this 2010. I didn't carve any jack o lanterns, all my cards have been store bought, and I have gone to the craft store ONLY three times, and ALL of my purchases are sitting in their original bags and in their original packaging. Le Sigh! I have about four new halloween stamp sets untouched even.

Therefore, I was excited this year at the prospect of making a gingerbread house for the LINX Gingerbread Gala! They have locals make gingerbread houses and auction them off for charity. I did it last year, and my house went for $100! I was so looking forward to out-doing my efforts from last year. This time, I consulted an engineer, home made all the gingerbread... And ran out of time and bribed my husband and daughter to make it while I was working. Work, work, work...

I was hoping to come home and help put the final touches on the super impressive chalet. I was on the phone saying I was coming home, when the first cave in happened. My daughter threatened to sue the construction company, as there were some gingerbread men fataly wounded in the accident. My idea when I got home was to turn it into some sort of famous (or famous looking) ruins the following day. Yeah, that went over like a lead balloon. What it DID end up looking like was a tent city put up by hordes of homeless gingerbread men. Sorta like what Edmonton looked like in 2006 and there was a gigantic tent city errected by the working homeless. Too late to do anything else, and unfortunately too late to back out (as it was only an hour to the start of the event). I whipped up a tent card on the computer, and voila!

The Fabulous Tent City of the North Pole

As work piles up at the North Pole for the upcoming Christmas season, Santa runs out of room in his workshop & tent cities pop up for relief workers (dwarves, fairies & trolls) who've come from all over the world to help with the large demand this Christmas...

It almost looked like I intended to make it look that pathetic. Please note the gingerbread man holding a cane - he escaped the initial disaster with only life altering and debilitating injuries...

The president of the Chamber of Commerce said my gingerbread village looked nicer than his most recent trip to a third world country, and if I wanted to make it really pathetic looking, I need to add gingerbread men pooping outside, and well, to be honest just lots of outdoor poop.

I'll keep those suggestions in mind for next year.

Oh, and what did my gingerbread village fetch in donations? $10. My thanks to Cindy for purchasing it and taking it home, allowing me to avoid the shame of carting that monstrosity back with me.

On the upside, the Gala was so much fun, the food was amazing, the company even better and I got to see the most glorious giant velvet elvis painting I've ever seen. Good times.