Hope and Terror

I had a friend recently comment that I should turn my craft blog into a graphic design blog, or an entrepreneur blog since I'm doing more working than crafting. Ha. That's true, but all the good graphic design blog names are taken. And besides, this is craft anarchy, where there are no rules. That basically means I can blog about whatever I want to. That's my way of saying I'm about to rant about work. Again.

I recently was paid a visit from the president of the Chamber of Commerce (ooh - pause for dramatic effect) who sat down with me in a Closed Door Meeting. He asked if I would be his president-elect for his term as president. Which means I'd be the next president. Bewildered blink. I asked if he was sure. He gave me a thoughtful reply of why he chose me. After our lengthy discussion of what it would mean - my commitments and duties - he left asking me to give him an answer by Monday. Not exactly the way I wanted to end my Friday, with a bunch of heavy thinking for the weekend. After discussing it with my husband and business partner, my employees, my friends and family, I'm still not sure what my answer will be. I'm flattered, to be sure - but ego is not the right reason to do anything. On the other hand, the benefits both to my personal growth and to my business is huge. It sort of scares me, and that's one big reason i'm considering it. Being a mom and taking over a business are just two examples of things that terrified me and turned out to be the best things in my life. I have been considering all my current obligations - work, family and the other organizations I have become a part of that all depend on me. Do I have the time to commit to this? I have the potential to be the BNI president next year. I'm the president elect for Rotary which means I will be the president in a year. I can spend the next two years preparing myself for the time expenditure after my experiences being president of smaller things. Maybe these are great stepping stones and learning experiences preparing me for Chamber Presidency. I feel greatly underqualified - especially considering the depth and breadth of the knowledge and experience of the past presidents for over 75 years. But my peers have picked me for these tasks because they believe in me. Maybe they see something in me that I don't.
I recently had a close friend comment that what drew her to me was my charm and charisma. I have a very hard time describing myself with those two words. She was flattered and amazed that I reciprocated her feelings and we've been amazingly close friends ever since. Even despite the fact we live in different provinces we're very close. Perhaps it's time I stopped believing what I've told myself for years. Time to stop believing the lies fed to me by an abusive first spouse. Stop believing the stupid playground bullies and poisonous people I was too eager to listen to for far too long, and start listening to myself. To start telling myself that I am capable and worthy and special.
That's a hard pill for me to swallow, but it's clear that I need to start believing in myself the way others do. I owe myself that much. Respecting myself will be a learning curve. I don't know when the last time I felt worthy was. And a lot of work will have to go in to this. Taking care of my body through eating well, exercising, getting enough sleep and spending time with the people who nourish my soul. Christmas is a perfect time to start this when goodwill towards men and the peace and joy of the season is at its height.
I was sure that owning my own business would change me and help me grow as a person, but I didn't realize how dramatically it would happen. I'm honored to be chosen to represent my business community. I'm honored to take on this responsibility for the only community I've ever known. The more I think of it, the more I realize this is a path I'm meant to take.
I hope I do a good job, I hope I don't let anyone down, I hope to learn many new things, I hope to cherish the experience and gain many new friends. I hope to continue to grow. I hope.
Isn't hope wonderful?

No time for real posts

I apologize... I haven't been a good blogger. :( I have been all work and no play, therefore, no updates on *my* crafts. I've been doing a fair bit, but no time for pictures and uploading. I've got all the samples from my embossing class - which was a success, and I can't wait to share the pictures with you, but until I get less busy, or God puts a few extra hours in a day, or I can evolve to require less sleep, you'll just have to make due with what I got.

Which today, is a friend's website. She is amazingly talented, and has an artistic viewpoint very different from mine. Her images are beautiful and thought provoking. I'd call her a digital artist, creating all her designs (on her website) through digital media. And she has a blog that I think most people can relate to. Please enjoy: http://kinetickarma.com/

And I'll be back soon with pictures of the embossing class projects. But before I can get those to you, I'm going to have to make all my samples and cut materials for the Crop-A-Dile class on Friday. I have nothing prepared so far, and only tuesday and thursday to work on it. Wish me luck!