Welcome to adulthood...

When I was a kid, adulthood was marked by specific milestones. The obvious was turning 18, getting a full time job, completing your education, buying a car, moving out and getting your own place. Possibly getting married and having kids. These obvious marks of growing up. Just like how you stopped being a baby by learning to walk and getting out of diapers.
But as I grew into teenagehood, I took note of more subtle markers of becoming an adult. A real grown up. It meant you had your shit together, and were actually responsible and productive member of society. A warped view of how I saw responsibility through my teenaged eyes by my the example through my parents and other grown ups. Or adults who weren't necessarily there yet.

In my head, you became endoctrinated into being a Real Grown Up when you got a savings account. It meant you were planning for the future, you were thinking ahead, setting goals (which is HUGE in my world) and you were moving forward. At the time, I had no concept of what type of savings account, just having one was awesome.

Getting a loan. That meant that not just you and your mommy and daddy thought you were responsible, it meant business people thought you were responsible too. Wow. What a concept. They'd give you money, and know you'd pay it back, and not fret at night about whether you were using it to buy video games or booze. Nosiree, if you had the trust of a bank, you were well on your way to becoming a grown up.

Paying your taxes. I knew that when I was 18, I'd have to take my packette sent to me by the government, take my T4 and "get my taxes done". At the time, that meant my mother (who I had seen doing my brother's taxes) would work for about fifteen minutes filling out the required boxes, and then she'd send it in the mail, and w00t! Taxes done. That's not what I'm talking about. Becoming an adult was when your taxes got so difficult, you'd reconsider doing them yourself. It's when you had numerous slips, boxes of receipts that you'd pour over, stress about, calculate and then re-calculate and possibly argue with your spouse over. Get into a heated argument over and mutter swear words under your breath. Yep, that was a pivitol moment when you became an adult in my head.

Having your own health care. Not only was 21 the age when you could gamble in Vegas, it was also the time that I was to be kicked off my parents' health care plan. That meant that I not only had to have just a job, but I had to have one that supplied me benefits. That meant I had to have education to get a decent job that would give me benefits. That meant being totally responsible, and making my own dentist appointments. Truly adult behavior.

Not only did you get kicked off of mom and dad's health care plan when you got to be 21, they also kicked you off their vehicle insurance plan. That meant if you wanted to drive, you had to be able to afford a car. And then afford gas. And THEN afford to pay some business guy money to allow you to drive a car! Gone are the days of borrowing mommy and daddy's ride for your Saturday night and then bringing it home with no gas. Nope. Insurance meant you were becoming a grown up.

Watching the news. Growing up in my house usually meant dinner was ready by 5:00 or 5:30, which meant after dinner was M*A*S*H, and then the news. Reading the paper in the morning, watching the news at night meant you cared about society and world events. It meant you knew politics and had an opinion about the world. I believed in this so much that on Wednesdays when I had to wait half an hour after my piano lesson to wait for my sister's piano lesson to be done, when my piano teacher asked me what I wanted to watch, I told her I wanted to watch the news. In my cable-less house, I had three channels, and here I was being offered a virtual cornucopia of television pleasure, and I chose news. I would hear her exclaim to her parents and sister that I could watch anything and I chose to watch the news. That seemed to impress her, and made me feel important. Yes, watching the news made you an adult.

Not sleeping in. I always hated sleeping in as a teenager. No, I LOVED sleeping in, but it represented wasted time and meant that I was lazy. My parents would get up at 6:00 am every morning before work, and on the weekends by 8:00 am. They'd drink their coffee, read the paper and had a productive morning before I stumbled out of bed by noon. I always used to declare that when I was no longer a teenager and required more sleep than an adult, I'd wake up early and get lots of shit done too.

Taking care of your parents. It meant you lived long enough to have your parents become old enough to need taking care of. Growing up, we lived - sometimes part time, but towards the end, full time with my dad's dad. It meant that you had your shit together enough to be able to handle this responsibility as well. I loved living with my grandfather. It meant rolled up kleenex balls, watching him make tea, orange marmalade on the table, watching him roll hand-rolled cigarettes and cuddling with him while he smoked his pipe. I saw this as one of the most loving gestures a kid can make to his parent. It also meant sharing a different generation and view point with your children. Showed them compassion and love by example. Yep, living with your parents was a big role in becoming an adult.

Having a will. That meant that you had stuff, like an estate. It also meant you had people. A spouse, children, dependant adults that needed taking care of in case of your untimely demise. It meant you cared for these people enough to care what happens to them when you die. That's big time grown up shit.

Getting a financial advisor. My parents had a financial advisor, and I never really knew exactly why. I guess I never really asked, or maybe I did and the answer was so boring I didn't remember or understand. To me, it just meant your finances were so complicated that you needed a professional to help you manage them. Their financial advisor was a nice enough but odd man with a bad toupee (the only man I know who wore them) who smoked pipes and cigars and drank scotch. My parents were usually very pleasant to see him, but often we would hear arguments and my parents would get very tense during these home-meetings. But, to require these services, must mean that you're very grown up.

These were just a few markers I saw - beyond the obvious of what it meant being a real grown up and not just being a legal adult. These were what you did after that, and it sort of stuck with me as I've grown up and passed out of my 20's. I have reached a lot of the markers myself. I pay taxes, have my own insurance and health care. I have a rather large loan that I'm grateful the bank still has faith I will pay back. I got my first will when my ex husband died without one. I get my news from the internet, but I still sleep in. And thank god my parents and in laws are all well enough to live on their own. But until recently, my finances have been "whatever". I haven't planned anything, with any real plan. I had an RRSP (cashed in when we bought the business. I still get statements showing my balance of $0.00) I have an RESP for my daughter. I have a savings account (with $3.77 in it) but I finally decided that my finances are complicated enough to hire someone to help me sort out the mess. Wednesday, I pass through one of the most pivotal markers of adulthood. It took much prodding to get my husband to agree, and in the end I just made the appointment and told him about it afterwards. I get to sit with our new financial advisor (who is a charming gentleman who does not have a toupee or smoke cigars) and see what kind of mess we've made, and how far away adulthood will seem. Maybe after this, I'll stop sleeping in...

Subliminally Yours...

When I was a kid, my mom had a book in the house called Subliminal Seduction. A book about subliminal advertising that had glossy photos in the middle of the book showing how an ice cube in a whiskey advertisement spelled out the word "SEX", how the camel's hump on the pack of Camel cigarettes looks like a breast. It was a mentally titillating book.
Whether or not it works, whether or not it's intentionally placed there by corporate giants looking to brainwash the masses, or just bored artists and graphic designers is for the experts to discuss doesn't matter to me. Hidden images exist, and I love finding them. It's like the grown up version of "spot the 10 hidden images" on the back of Highlights magazines when I was a child. Google "subliminal" to get yourself started. Then you'll be searching every ad for hidden meanings, messages and images. Just like me. (Can you spot the hidden image in the above image? Look really closely, and if you need a hint, the picture at the bottom of the post.)

Distinguished Beards

Recently, I heard about friend's teenage son being told by a stranger to shave his facial hair. When his mother told the woman to mind her own business, the stranger shot back "I'm only trying to help the boy be all that he can be!" What is this? The army?? Since when did facial hair make someone be LESS than great?

And so what if the beard doesn't suit the face? Teenagers have little to no decision making power in their life - let them have choice over their hair! Color it purple, grow it long, shave it off... It's HAIR, it'll grow back, or can be cut. Chill.

The history behind beards and religious affiliations behind beards are fascinating, but I'm not here to philosophize. The history behind beards is long and storied (playoff beards being one of the most common reasons men today grow them) There are so many beards to choose from: fu man chu, Van Dyke, goatee, soul patch, full beard, neck beards... I don't care, they're all awesome. And after I went searching for a list of the most awesome beards in history, I couldn't find the list on the whole of the internet. So started my quest. I want awesome beards, and I want them now. So I've been busy compiling a list of awesome men in history ... who have beards. Add to the list! Rate them! I need your comments!! (By the way, I know there's awesome mustachio'd men in history too, but this is just for the beards...)

Sigmund Freud
Abraham Lincoln
Confucious
Ernest Hemmingway
Vincent Van Gogh
John Lennon
Jerry Garcia
Charles Darwin
Brigham Young
Cat Stevens
Chuck Norris
Kimbo Slice
Blackbeard the Pirate!
ZZ Top
Salman Rushdie
Grizzly Adams
Leonardo Davinci
Ned Kelly
Brian Blessed
Robert E Lee
Moses
Al Borland
Bob Ross
Bam Bam Bigelow
Thomas Swann
Kenny Rogers
Michael Gross
Johann Strauss II
Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani
Col. Sanders
Sebastian Cabot
Jesus Christ
Santa Claus!

This list is far from complete. Add your two cents! Your pictures! Your own beards! I have a desire to complete the internets best bearded list!

Logo Design Update

No, I haven't forgotten my logo project. I've been diligently working on it betwixt real work and relaxing and wasting time on the internet. I've been about to post part deux to my time waster series, but I've been too busy wasting time.

BUT just to keep you all updated on the logo design, here is contact sheet #2. Enjoy - and please send your own suggestions or thoughts (keeping in mind, this is being designed by committee). I hope you enjoy the progression...

Internet Time Wasters

I'm seriously a master of procrastination. I'm busy as heck at work, and I get home and find a million things to distract myself from the things I really need to do at home. Like housework, the laundry, washing dishes and sleeping. I have a bunch of websites I go to on a regular basis that are wonderful, informative, fun and awesome. And then there are some that are total timewasters that keep me from accomplishing anything. Including sleep.

Here are some of my favorite timewasters (in no particular order). I am not responsible for your lost productivity. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Sushi Cat. My daughter found this site about two years ago, and I've since listened to the bizarre japanese music, and her truly weird descriptions of the game. And then I finally tried it. Damnit, the game is ridiculously addictive, and makes me crave sushi. God damn you, sushi cat!!
http://armorgames.com/play/5379/sushi-cat

The Sleep Talkin' Man. I blame my sister from S'toon for introducing me to this site. It's a man. Who talks in his sleep. And his wife records him. And then puts it on the web. It's truly bizarre and hilarious. And you can get t-shirts with your favorite sayings on them. "Doo... Doo... Do you want to eat me? Hmm? Gobble me up? Chew on my hindquarters? Do you? WELL COCK OFF YOU SON OF A BITCH, YOU'RE NOT TASTING MY MEAT! Fucking eat something else. I'm as tough as leather. Grrr. (sigh)" Yep. It's bizarre on an awesome new level.
http://www.sleeptalkinman.blogspot.com/

Not Always Right. Horror stories from the customer service industry. If you've ever worked any sort of customer service job, you'll love this site so much you'll cry.
http://notalwaysright.com/

Letters from an Asshole. They're letters. From an asshole. Or more like an asshole baits stupid people from Craigslist and Kijiji. They're so funny, my sides hurt from laughing. Stadiums are for PUSSIES!
http://www.dontevenreply.com/

Awkward Family Photos. Just like the ones in your photo album. Only not your family, so you can laugh. And be thankful your mother doesn't know how to work that scanner she got from Best Buys.
http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/

There's more, but I gotta go, sushi cat is calling to me...